


Silver Linings

by RobinsonsWereHere



Category: Psych
Genre: Angst, Blood, F/M, Guilt, Hospitalization, Hurt/Comfort, Misplaced Guilt, Near Death Experiences, Shooting, Shules, Softness, Unplanned Pregnancy, commitment phobe shawn is hArD to write why do you think i set my fics ambiguously in the future???, i guess there's technically a proposal??, life decisions, purely for the pain of shawn almost losing two of the people he loves one right after the other, set early season 7
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-06
Updated: 2019-06-06
Packaged: 2020-04-11 17:36:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19114495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RobinsonsWereHere/pseuds/RobinsonsWereHere
Summary: Juliet gets shot point-blank in the chest, and for days, Shawn's world crashes down around him as he realizes that she might not wake up- he might lose her for good.And then she does, and their world turns upside down for an entirely different reason.





	Silver Linings

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Howlingdawn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Howlingdawn/gifts).



> For Dawn, because she inspired me with her B99 fic. Everyone needs to read her stuff it's so goooood

Juliet is running on so much adrenaline that she doesn’t even react when she turns around to find a gun pressed against the kevlar over her chest. She simply grabs the barrel of the gun, intending to rip it away from her opponent. Only, he pulls the trigger before she can do that.

When she touches the spot on her chest that burns painfully, her fingers come away bloody. _That’s not supposed to happen… I’m wearing a bulletproof vest._

With that last coherent thought, she crumples to the ground.

>>>>>>>>

Karen arrives at the crime scene to find her head detective standing, practically soaked in blood, above five dead bodies. “Chief,” he says, but she shakes her head.

“Carlton, go. Go with O’Hara, I can get your report later.”

“Should I call Spencer, or will you?”

“That’s my job. Right now all you need to do is go with that ambulance.”

He nods and turns away, following the EMTs.

>>>>>>>>>

Shawn is constructing grilled cheese sandwiches when his phone rings. He assumes it’s Jules- she’s supposed to be home soon, so she’s probably calling to say she’s on her way. “This is Shawn,” he answers.

It’s not Juliet.

It’s not Juliet because according to the chief, Juliet is en route to the hospital. According to the chief, Juliet has been shot point blank in the chest. According to the chief, her kevlar vest hardly made a difference.

Shawn hangs up, and then his knees give out. Already hyperventilating, he crumples to the floor.

>>>>>>>>>

Gus shifts uneasily in the plastic chair of the ER waiting room. Shawn had called him for a ride, and Gus is legitimately scared by how his best friend is shaking, how his voice is weak, how his gaze is wild and unfocused. “Shawn?” he’s been checking in every so often just to keep him anchored in reality.

Shawn heaves a sigh. “Gus, do me a favor,”

“Anything.”

“Try your very hardest not to get shot. I’d like to go four consecutive months without someone I love taking a bullet to the chest.”

Gus swallows. “I’m sorry about this, Shawn.”

“You couldn’t have done anything, buddy. Don’t worry about it.”

Gus knows he’s right, but he wishes there was something he could do now.

>>>>>>>>>

Shawn has one earbud in to distract himself with 80s music- it’s his feel good playlist. Except it’s not working, because the last time he’d heard _Every Little Thing She Does is Magic_ he’d been dancing around the apartment with Juliet, both of them laughing and kissing and her arms around his neck-

He’s pulled from his thoughts by a nurse entering the room. “Family of Juliet O’Hara?”

Shawn, Gus, and Lassiter all stand. The nurse is at first reluctant to let anyone but Shawn through- he’s her emergency contact- but  
Lassie flashes his badge and the three of them file down the hall to the ICU.

“Miss O’Hara sustained severe injuries to-”

“Detective,” Lassie interrupts.

“I’m sorry?”

“It’s _Detective_ O’Hara. It’s damn hard to earn that badge, and she has a title because she deserves it. So use it,” he snaps.

“Of course… as I was saying, Detective O’Hara sustained severe injuries to the sternum and right lung. Luckily, the bullet went straight through, and although that means there are two wounds, in the end it’s actually better in terms of treatment and surgery. The surgery itself went… as well as can be expected-”

This time, Shawn feels the need to interrupt. “What the hell does that mean?”

“Excuse me?”

“‘As well as can be expected’? That’s a pretty damn vague description!”

“Mr. Spencer, Detective O’Hara was lucky to be alive when she got here, our doctors did the best they could with what they had-”

“Look, I don’t care, okay!? I don’t care what kind of complicated procedure she had to go through, I don’t care what the medical diagnosis is. Maybe I should, but I don’t. All I care about right now is if the woman I love is alive, and if she’s going to stay that way.”

Shawn realizes he’s practically screaming at the nurse, who’s only trying to do her job. He shoves his hands in his pockets and steps back, hunching with shame. “Sorry. That was uncalled for.”

She gives him a tight smile. “Detective O’Hara is stable, but… comatose. Right this way.”

>>>>>>>>

Lassiter hates this, every minute of it. The beeping of the monitors is driving him insane and the constant flow of people, even if they don’t enter the room, sets him on edge. Everything about the current situation seems unnatural. Spencer is silent and void of his best friend, who had gone to track down doctors and information. But to Lassiter, the most unsettling part of this picture is O’Hara. 

His partner is normally vibrant and delightful, always smiling and exuding energy, even if she’s sitting still. Now, however, she’s motionless in the bed, her skin far too pale, with no energy whatsoever. He can’t even watch for the rise and fall of her chest, because the bandages and tubing are all but holding her down. The only reassurance he has of her being alive comes from the light pulse he can feel from his fingers on her wrist- Carlton doesn’t trust machines.

Finally, the nauseating guilt in his stomach gets to be too much and he has to look away. “I’m sorry,” he mutters. He’s not sure if he’s speaking to O’Hara or Spencer, but of course, Spencer is the only one who responds.

“Huh?”

“You blame me.” _Of course he blames you, why shouldn’t he? It’s your fault._

“Lassie, don’t be that stop sign I tried unsuccessfully to steal when I was seventeen, of course I don’t blame you. You couldn’t have saved her any more than I could have.”

“But I could have. I should have. I’m supposed to have her six at all times; that bastard should never have gotten close enough to shoot her.”

“Lassie.” Shawn heaves a sigh, running a hand through his hair. “Lassie, everyone makes mistakes, even you. Beating yourself up over it now won’t help Jules at all.”

“Then what will?”

“Believe it or not, I don’t know.”

>>>>>>>>>

It takes two days for Juliet to progress from comatose to merely unconscious. Unfortunately, just because she’s capable of waking up doesn’t mean she will anytime soon.

Shawn cries. He’s as close to fine as he can be during the day, when Gus and his dad and even the chief visit. In the mornings and evenings, he’s able to keep it together by talking with Lassie, about the weather or an old case or movies they both enjoy (they avoid the topic of guns). But nights… nights are the worst.

Lassiter will leave for the night and the lights will dim and Shawn will fold himself onto the hospital bed as much as he can while avoiding Juliet’s injury. And then the tears come. Sometimes he sobs roughly, but mostly he just leans his forehead against Juliet’s as the tears course down his face.

He thinks Lassie cries, too, but if he does, the detective hides it well. And Shawn respects him (he truly does, even if he doesn’t show it) enough to let him have his privacy.

>>>>>>>>>

Gus brings a pineapple and a ‘get well soon’ balloon when he visits early Monday morning- he’s trying to be optimistic. Today is the third day of Juliet being unconscious, but the doctors assure Shawn and Lassiter that unconscious does not mean unresponsive, and they should talk to Juliet to possibly increase the chances of her waking up. When Gus walks in, Shawn is singing hoarsely, and Lassiter is leaned back in his chair with a hand over his face.

“Good morning,” Gus offers.

“It’s really not,” Lassiter mumbles.

“Not yet, anyway,” Shawn adds. “The doctors say if Jules is still stable in a few hours, they’re gonna extubate her.”

Gus frowns. “They don’t have to wait for her to wake up?”

“No, apparently being conscious while intubated is an extremely uncomfortable experience.”

“I’m just glad she’s gonna be okay,” Gus says. “I was kind of worried you would go on some sort of rampage, like when your dad was shot.”

“I would have,” Shawn informs him, and the dark look in his eyes unsettles Gus a bit. “I absolutely would have, except for the fact that Lassie put a bullet in his skull.”

“Three.”

“My bad. But anyway, the situation has been handled.”

Gus sighs, wishing he didn’t have to go to work. “Shawn, I’m assuming you want to temporarily close the Psych office? I’ve gotta run my route, and we can’t exactly run Psych without your…” he trails off, making the ‘hand-to-the-temple’ gesture.

“Wait, I thought it was the weekend.”

“No, Shawn. Today is Monday.”

“Oh.” Shawn’s brow furrows. “It’s been three days?”

Gus is seriously considering taking the day off so he can make sure Shawn is alright. “Yes, Shawn. It says the date on the info whiteboard, see?”

“Oh, yeah.” Shawn must notice Gus’ worry, because he waves a hand dismissively. “Gus, we’ll be fine. I’ll call you if- _when_ Jules wakes up. Go do your thing.”

Gus nods doubtfully. “Okay, I guess… keep me updated.”

>>>>>>>>>>

Juliet wakes up, but she doesn’t feel like she can open her eyes. Or move at all.

Her chest aches, but at the same time, it feels numb. She can hear beeping from… somewhere. On her right, she feels a hand holding her wrist, and something in her foggy mind informs her that it’s positioned as if looking for a pulse. On her left, she can feel fingers threaded through hers, and that in itself is so familiar that she knows it must be Shawn.

Slowly, she opens her eyes, but it’s really bright, so she closes them again. The next thing she tries is squeezing Shawn’s hand. She feels him jolt.

“Jules?” he asks. His voice cracks as if he hasn’t spoken in a while.

She tries again to open her eyes as she hears shifting from her right. When she does, she sees Shawn bent over her, as if he’s trying to hold her close, and Carlton on the other side, his arms resting on the bed’s guard rail. She smiles at them both. “You boys look horrible.”

“So do you,” points out Carlton.

Shawn smiles. “He’s lying. You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.”

Juliet laughs, but that hurts her chest, so she stops. “What… what happened?”

Shawn’s smile grows tense, and Carlton leans forward. “How much do you remember?”

“Um… a fight. I don’t know… it’s all a blur…”

Shawn squeezes her hand. “I wasn’t there, you’ll have to get Lassie to give you the details.”

“I didn’t see it happen,” her partner admits. “One second I was fighting off three guys at once, and then all of a sudden I’d gotten them off me enough to see, and all I could see was you on the ground in a pool of blood.” His intake of breath is shaky. “I couldn’t even breathe. I just took them all out because at that point, getting to you was the only thing that mattered.”

Juliet smiles. “I’m alright, Carlton. Thanks to you.”

He shakes his head. “I should’ve stopped it from happening in the first place.”

“Carlton, it’s alright. I’m going to be fine.”

He nods, swallows roughly, and stands, leaving the room. She thinks he might be crying.

>>>>>>>>>

Shawn is worried that Jules might tire easily, but she remains happy and alert, and soon the room is filled with a steady stream of doctors. The pulmonologist warns her about the potential complications with her still-healing lung. The trauma doctors praise her for a quick recovery. Shawn pays as much attention as he can, but they all start to blur together. And then, the last doctor is an OB/GYN.

Shawn frowns when he reads the nametag. _What’s an OB/GYN doing here?_

“Good afternoon, Detective O’Hara,” says the doctor. “I’m Dr. Greer. I’m here to talk to you about some abnormalities in your bloodwork.”

“Okay…” Jules sounds and looks apprehensive. Shawn rubs a thumb over the back of her hand to soothe her.

“Well, for starters, your stress hormones are elevated, but that’s actually good- it shows that your body recognizes you’ve been injured and is responding appropriately. And secondly…” she breaks off. “Ah, I’m sorry- just to be clear, Juliet, Shawn is your romantic partner, yes?”

“He is, why…”

Dr. Greer interrupts with a polite smile, which Shawn actually didn’t know you could do. “Other than the elevated stress hormones, your blood work also revealed spikes in certain other hormones… which are widely regarded as the earliest accurate indicators of pregnancy.”

Shawn looks at Juliet.

Juliet looks at Shawn.

They both turn back to gape at the doctor.

Shawn is the first to regain his voice. “Hang on, hang on- _what?”_

Juliet shakes herself, then glances at the IV in her hand. “How much pain medication am I on!?”

“Actually, your meds are quite light, compared to the usual prescription. The normal medication is far too strong for a developing fetus- but I’m impressed, you don’t seem to be in much pain at all.”

“Right,” Juliet says, sounding faint. She lifts a hand to her stomach. Shawn is concerned by how suddenly pale she looks.

“Jules-” 

The ‘are you okay’ part of his question sticks in his throat when he realizes he can probably guess the answer to that. He tries to get her to look at him, at least. “Juliet?”

“Uh-huh.” She nods at him and then turns her attention back to the doctor. “Ah… what else?”

“Well, luckily, your injury seems to have had no direct adverse impact on the fetus-- that being said, we’re going to keep you here for a few more days to monitor you both and keep an eye out for unpredicted effects on either of you.” She offers the same small smile. “Any questions?”

“Um, how far along am I?”

“Not quite three months, according to our most accurate tests.”

Shawn smirks, remembering how they’d celebrated him moving in with her. Juliet sees his look and smacks him lightly. He quickly looks back to the doctor. “Hey, aren’t there usually other symptoms, or something?”

Dr. Greer has an answer to that, but Shawn is more focused on the way Jules suddenly sits too still and presses her lips together. “Wait a minute, Jules, what aren’t you telling me?”

“Um… it’s just that… I haven’t been feeling well for the past few weeks. I figured it was just a bug, it wasn’t that bad…”

Shawn stares at her in disbelief. “You- how did I not- since when-” he quickly turns back to the doctor. “Y’know what, I think we’re good on information for now.”

>>>>>>>>>>

Juliet falls back asleep after the doctor leaves. Shawn is quiet and gentle when he asks if she wants to talk, and she tells him no-- right now, she just wants to rest for a bit. So she sleeps, and it turns out that she’s still exhausted enough to ignore the fact that she and Shawn could quite possibly have a baby in six months or so.

When she wakes up, it hits her all over again.

The detective curls in on herself, noting the irony of her assuming the fetal position as she contemplates having a child. Shawn is reading a magazine next to her, but he’s quick to turn his attention to her when he hears her move.

“Hey, baby,” he greets, brushing her hair from her face, “what’s wrong?”

“Shawn…” Juliet curls into an even tighter ball, suddenly feeling as though she’s being crushed by a wave of shame. “Shawn, I don’t think I’ll make a very good mother.”

“Jules, what are you talking about? You’ll be an absolutely fantastic mother.” Shawn continues to comb his fingers through her hair. She likes it when he does that.

“But Shawn, this whole shooting thing… I can deal with getting shot. All I have to do is spend a few days in the hospital and then take it easy getting back on my feet. Only, now it’s different. Shawn, I could’ve lost our child before we even knew we had one.”

“But you didn’t,” he assures her. He moves close enough to let his hand cover hers, which is resting on her stomach. “Juliet, hey. Getting shot is not your fault; you couldn’t have done anything different. And our baby is fine. You’re both fine. Jules…” his voice breaks. “You’re both alive, and that’s all I want. I couldn’t ask for anything more.”

She sniffs, sitting up a bit so he can wrap her in his arms. “Shawn?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you… do you want this baby?”

“I won’t lie, Jules, I’m scared,” he answers-- or rather, doesn’t answer. “It’ll be awhile before I’m over what’s happened to you, and I mean, I’m still trying to figure out how to propose, I haven’t even _thought_ about kids--” he freezes. “Oh, shit.”

She would turn to look at him, but sitting up is hard enough on her chest already. “Shawn,” she asks carefully, “what do you mean, ‘figure out how to propose’?”

“Uh… that just kind of slipped out…” she feels him swallow. “But, um, I’ve got the ring, and I’ve got the girl… I’m just waiting until we’re both ready, I guess.”

“Part of me thinks that raising a kid is a sure sign of readiness,” Juliet ventures, “and part of me doesn’t want you to feel pressured to propose just because I’m pregnant. Which brings me back to my original question…” she takes a breath. “Are we doing this? Are we gonna have a child?”

He presses small kisses into her hair, over her cheek, down her neck. “We’ll do it together, right?” Juliet shifts a bit, and Shawn moves so he can look her in the eye. “We’ll figure it all out together?”

“Of course,” she breathes.

“Then-- then let’s have this kid. If we both do our best, we can’t screw up that badly.”

“Are you sure? I don’t want to pressure you into anything…”

“Jules, I almost lost you this weekend. Life is too short for me to keep running away and trying to push everything back to the last possible moment- sooner or later, we’ll run out of moments.”

She blinks back tears. “Then let’s- let’s have a baby.”

He kisses her softly but thoroughly, and when they part for air, he doesn’t pull all the way away. “And get married?” he asks, his forehead resting against hers. 

She smiles and gives him a quick kiss. “That too.”

Juliet notices that they’re both crying as Shawn keeps giving her gentle kisses. “What do you think, Jules? Does the rest of our lives start now?”

She kisses him, long and deep. “I think it does, Shawn. I think it does.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Leave comments or kudos if you want, or find me on tumblr at chiefkarenvick!


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